The more kids I have and the older they get...the more I realize they are all from a different "EGG"! Parenting books make me feel bad for yelling at my kids. They never have a chapter on when all else has failed...then by all means go ahead and yell. I seem to have one girl that was receiving most of my yelling. Clearly this was not motivating her and I was sick of listening to myself. She is the type of child to stay in her room for 3 hours not cleaning, but as soon as I say I am leaving in 5 minutes to go to Disneyland it will be spotless in 5 minutes. Why can't you just clean it in 5 minutes instead of dinking around for 3 hours? We started calling her molasses because she was so slow and last to do anything. Homework would take her 3 hours except for when a friend came over to ask her to play...miraculously it would be done in 5 minutes. One day she asked what molasses was, so I went and bought some to show her. Great...trying to motivate her by a mean name and she does not know what it is. Such a good parent. What to do? Parenting books would tell you to take activities away to motivate them to do what needs to be done. I knew if I took away activities that would give her more time to waste. Against all parenting books I decided to over schedule her so she had no time to waste. When she knows she has to get it done she does it.
It worked...she has totally impressed me. What does her schedule look like?Basketball 2 times a week, soccer 3 times a week, piano lessons and practicing 20 minutes a day, activity days with church, take care of her bunny...feed, change, walk. Just to make sure she is really busy...she is doing a play at school that requires after school practice 2 days a week. She is amazing. She does all this and comes home and focuses on her homework like I have never seen her focus. She even pulls some late nights, but knows she has to get it done. No time to waste and I have no reason to yell. I cried when she brought home a note that said she was going to make honor roll. My parenting books are in the trash.
I have not figured out one thing though...with her being over scheduled than I am over scheduled. Plus, I have 3 other kids with schedules. I guess I need to go get my parenting books back out of the trash.
2 comments:
Just ck your life in a file for the next Oh... 10 years and then pull it out. You will find that it may not be how you invisioned it but soooo much better. It is best to remember that you are not incharge. You will sleep better at night.
What a great idea (except for your overscheduling). I have a serious dawdler too, but not much motivates him. If I were leaving for Disneyland in 5 minutes, he'd cry for the whole 5 minutes about why it's not fair that I wouldn't let him come. Any ideas for him?
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