My grandmother has full blown Alzheimers and my grandfather is bed-ridden and can only get a few words out every once in a while. You know he understands you by his facial expressions. I thought back to 65 years ago when they got married and were so much younger. Would they ever imagine their life like this at 85 or were they just so in love and had to be together? I am sure looking back they would agree they barely knew each other. I think that of my own marriage. We have been married for 15 years and I really did not know him...I thought I loved him but our love is so different now. If that occurs after only 15 years of marriage...how much different is love after 65 years? My grandmother sometimes knows who my grandfather is by name. She always seems to know she loves him and stays by him to take care of him, even if she can't remember his name. They are always in the same room together. He has worked his whole life to take care of her financially and let her live in her house as long as he is alive. They have 24-hour care providers so this can happen, since he physically can't take care of her anymore. I loved showing my grandma old pictures because she could easily go back in time. I showed her a picture of my grandpa when they were dating. Her eyes got all big and she said "He is a cute boy!"
Life brings you memories and children...
...as well as grandchildren. (This is Scott and I when we were dating with the grandparents.)
The best lesson I learned while there was not from People magazine but from my grandparents. This is what marriage is all about... and it can't happen in 72 days. Living everyday with someone for 65 years takes work but it is worth it. Your brain is not working right and your body is not right. But your love is soooo deep that you just need to be together. Your souls just know that they will be together for eternity. I don't know how long it takes to get to this point, but sometimes it is great to be reminded that the "cute boy" you picked and barely knew can be yours forever. Your souls will have to be together and he won't care that you don't like your side of the sheets tucked in. :)
2 comments:
Thanks Joy, I really needed that! Jay & I had some serious disagreements this week, ie fights, and you're right, we do need to remember that deep down, we don't want to be with anyone else for eternity!! I wanna be like your grandparents when I'm old, they are just wonderful people.
Thank you Joy. It is easy to wonder why they are going thru this and here is the answer. They are still teaching their posterity how it is done right, this marriage thing. Your insight is on target.
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